shit tacos!

OH MY FUCKING GAWD! okay so the first guy i mentioned i like....gahhhh okay okay okay here is the WHOLE story.....


kay so my bffl laur totally went ahead and askd him abt his feelings 4 me bc i wanted to know and i was too lazy to wait.

so asked him and shit and he was like...and i quote... "idk if i like her"

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?!

so that was the vaguest thing i've ever heard

so i asked like 10 of my best frans what they thought that meant...i got a plethora of answers...
from"oh he likes you but doesnt know how to tell u" to "he kinda likes you to kinda doesnt"

it was confusing.... sooo i just decided to ask him straight out...

i texted him and he said "well i'm kind of already seeing someone"

WHAT THE HELL SINCE WHEN??ughhh the least they could do is bring up their gf every once in awhile ughhh

continuing the conversation...

then i was like oh...

then he was like yea her name is airen (u spell her name E-R-I-N ughh) she's a sophmore i dont have any classes with her

then i was like what's her last name?

then he said ****** (i'm keeping her identity secret. for her sake)

and i was like omg i kno her! she's in orchestra with me, i'm her asst. principal

and he's like oh i didnt know she was in orchestra. that's hella funny

and im like lol yea she's like 10th chair i think

and he's like is that good or something?

okay and this is where i did not want to be all bitchy about another girl who has done anything to me so i was jus like....

well its 8 chairs behind me. i guess it all matters on personal goals and shit. i wanted to be in the front lol

okay yea that may have sounded kinda bitchy but to ppl who dont understand a musician's placement. they wouldnt know if it sounded good or bad...and plus this has been one hell of a fucking awful friday

okay so yea that's the end of the convo....for now at least. that was the last text i sent him....




UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH how much more frustrating can guys get...ugh i was totally hoping he'd ask me out b4 school ended for this semester which is conveniently placed on my birthday :D but yea that is apparently NOT going to happen.

UNLESS....he magically breaks up with his gf for me....yea that's deff not going to happen

but y the hell dus this kind of shit happen to me a lot....

High School is "supposed" to be different...

news flash to me: itz not

every single movie making high school look all awsum just became a big fat fucking lie! ughhhh i know they say don't believe what they put in movies but hell the media makes every single second of reality more and more unbearable.

well maybe it just isnt the movies about all the awsum high schooler-ness but maybe its what the media puts out there as the perfect guy.... guys like....

EDWARD CULLEN
example A, edward cullen, he is considered the perfect boyfriend. in every aspect he is. he brought back the common gentleman. he shaped MAJORITY of the united state's teenage girls' to believe there is such a guy like edward cullen...and worse. it was a book. and everyone knows NOTHING is better than the book :(( ughhhh


then on the other hand we have the perfect couple. the kind of relationship everyone wants.

RYAN GOSSLING AND RACHEL McADAMS in the notebook
this is the CLASSIC perfect couple movie. it makes girls cry bc itz so fucking sweet. so now everyone wants someone they can grow old with and have a relationship like that. maybe not exactly like it but it displays qualities of a relationship of two people who are meant to be 2gthr and everyone wants a piece of it....ughhhhhhhhhhh i love movies like this but i do blame it for making me such a hopeless romantic....


gah so now i'm going to go play my viola....i need to express myself....and it's the only way i can think of bc i've already written everything i can write abt this fucking friday......

stupid.
stupid.
stupid.
hopeless romantic...
me